What If We Both Live With Herpes?

When you and your partner have both contracted the Herpes Simplex Virus, it may seem as though you won't have to worry about passing it on to each other. Sorry. From a psychological and emotional point of view, you may be comforted in knowing your "stories" are shared and that you are loved regardless. However, there is still much to consider.

Some people are under the wrong impression that if you both have herpes, you can't pass it on to each other because you both have herpes antibodies, which is and isn't true. Yes. You both have antibodies, and if you have the same type of herpes, you have the same kind of antibodies, but you can re-infect each other. If one of you is shedding or has an active breakout (blisters present), having antibodies won't keep you from breaking out if you come into contact with the virus.

Furthermore, if one of you has genital herpes from HSV-1 (cold sores) and the other has HSV-2 (genital herpes), you are both at risk of contracting the virus you don't already have. You can acquire HSV-1 (cold sores) genitally, which means you'll have genital herpes but not the typical HSV-2 type. Vice versa, HSV-2 can be transferred to the mouth. So, what to do? Both you and your partner must refrain from being sexually intimate whenever you suspect you might be shedding or when you have an active breakout. In the meantime, you might experiment with other ways of pleasing each other. There are more ways than one to be intimate.

If one of you isn't feeling particularly energetic, an alternative might be to enjoy each other's company for a few days quietly. Instead of focusing on what you can't have, share meals, read books at opposite ends of the couch under a shared blanket (or read to each other), or snuggle up to a good "feel-good" movie and a shoulder to lean on.

Another thing to consider when you live with herpes is getting pregnant. You'll also want to know everything about HSV to prevent the spread of the virus to family members.

Another thing you can do is to begin learning how to become symptom-free together. You might start by reviewing What Are HSV Triggers?

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